No, I don’t have sex with pans – part three.

I should probably clarify that I identify as pansexual. No, this does not mean I’m sexually attracted to pans. For those who don’t know, this means that I am attracted to people irrespective of their gender identity.

Whilst avoiding labelling myself for a long time, I found pansexual to be the best fit. You don’t have to feel pressured to label yourself. I personally never want to completely close the door on any sex, to limit myself of any possibility. However, that is not to say that I’m uncertain of my sexuality, and that certainly doesn’t mean I ‘just haven’t found the right man yet’. I am certain that people are changeable, that love is unpredictable, and I am certain that I currently love a girl. I still have to come out to people all of the time, however, each time I do, I do it with my head a little higher.

Despite the challenges, I wouldn’t change one detail about my coming out experience. I couldn’t wish for better parents, who accepted my current girlfriend with open arms. As we grow, we see our experiences differently. Bad times can become blessings in disguise and can prepare us for future obstacles. Everyone deserves to fall in love and everyone deserves to love themselves. Do not be afraid and do not deprive others from knowing your true self. Most importantly, do not deny yourself of living the life you desire. Do not hide and stand proud. Despite this, it is important to come out at the right time, in a safe environment, when you feel ready.

For those seeking support regarding the issues discussed in this blog post,  I am always a message away and will do my best to answer questions and give advice to the best of my ability. Alternatively, there are online and over the phone support networks, including the confidential Switchboard LGBT+ helpline, available 10am-10pm every day on 03003 300630.

What I have discussed is evidently personal to me. Not all members of the LGBT+ community have had a similar experience to me. Therefore do not base expectations for yourself on what you have just read. I consider myself lucky for the reactions I received, but your environment and well being may vary from mine. Remember, your safety comes first, there is no rush. Those who identify differently to myself would have had to ask themselves different questions, and would have had to tackle different obstacles. Leave a comment on your own experience so that I can hear how similar or different your coming out story is to mine. Your experience may be able to help another reader with a problem I did not have to face, or give them the confidence needed to come out. Let’s get intimate!


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